The Ethical Slut, Safer Sex

Ways to get off with minimal risk of fluid transmission.

*sex with condoms
*kissing
*cuddles
*massage
*mutual masturbation with gloves
*watching each other
*phone sex
*textual intercourse
*body on body rubbing
*bdsm practices
*oral with barriers
*individual toy use

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The ethical slut exercise 2, Why sluthood? Why not? (List with help from Tink)

Reasons why people may be sluts

*sex is fun π
*sex is good for your health π
*I like kissing π
*I do not love monogamously π
*I like persons π
*I like making sexual connections with people π
*it feels free π
*I am in control of who touches my body π
*extra cuddles π
*sex is proven to be good for your skin
*sex is great exercise π
*sex helps with depression
*I get different things sexually from different people π
*I like cock and cunt π
*I don’t like feeling tied down, unless well I am actually tied down π
*I like showing off my butt π
*I get to know things about people I wouldn’t otherwise π
*seeing lots of beautiful people naked π
*intimacy feels nice π
*it makes me happy π
*I make others happy and feel good π
*orgasms πππππππππππ
*entertainment
*I like being playful π
*learning more about my sexual desires π
*extra love π
*closeness π
*being touched is fun π
*flirting is fun π
*I believe monogamy isn’t the norm for primates π
*I was taught to share
*I don’t need control over my partner π
*I like variety π
*for spiritual advancement
*to challenge society
*because I have a strong sexual appetite π
*more caring supportive people in your life π
*group sex rocks π
*feels natural π
*I believe in love π
*pheromones
*being sex positive π
*licking people
*it pisses prudes off ¥
*practice makes perfect
*stress relief
*try new things π
*curiosity π
*revenge ¥
*boost self esteem ¥
*because boobs ππππππ
*power ¥
*empowerment π
*affection π
*peer pressure ¥
*increase immune system
*acceptance ¥
*exciting π
*rebellion ¥
*improve sexual technique π
*daddy issues ¥
*male approval ¥
*cash gains ¥
*sexual addiction ¥
*people smell nice π

I will mark ones I think describe the type of slut I don’t want to be with ¥
Ones I think are good reasons with π

Sluts we know and love

I am reading the ethical slut and thought  I best have a go at the exercises. Here is the first one.

Sluts we know and love.

I am lucky in that I know a vast number of ethical sluts, sadly I know some less ethical ones too but never mind this is a post I intend to make sure is positive.

I am going to start close to home the people I am most happy are ethical sluts are those I am involved with, H, bf and Bob. All of whom are wonderful honest people who I trust.

I’m going to move onto the many poly people I know in the fetish community, making special mention of bmb  a good friend of mine who is very open and proud of her slutiness.

I also have some non fetish community friends who are poly but not very many. A lot of these people hide it from those close to them which I think must be terribly hard.

I know a lot of people who sleep around, swing, play, have one night stands and fuck buddies when they are single but are monogamous once they connect with someone which is cool a few of these people would like to do poly but can’t get around the jealousy once they are emotionally involved with someone.

Now sluts in the media this is more difficult for me as I don’t pay much attention to the media in general. Obviously there is Dossie Easton who wrote the ethical slut I have to say I am pretty impressed with her right now. Alfred Kinsey and Clara Bracken McMillen had an open marriage which I find interesting along with his sexology studies. I have heard that Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer are reported to as well but I don’t know if that is in fact true.

Non monogamous characters are easy for me to think of some of my favourite non monogamous characters are from Laurell K Hamilton books where she shows some of the many issues non monogamy can cause but with very fantasy based characters, wolves, vampires, faeries and ancient gods being amongst my favourites. Amusingly Rita and Sue and Bob too always sticks in my head as possibly the first time I saw poly portrayed on tv but I don’t think it was a wonderful portrayal. Actually thinking about it one of the most healthy portrayals I have seen of poly was in elf quest books where several elves lifemate  with two others, these relationships were balanced, loving and dealt with jealous well. It comes up lots in the bible only frowned upon in certain instances which is interesting as the catholic church isn’t fond of poly.

Star trek has a few civilisations where poly is the norm, andorians have four person family units as standard not couples (they also have four sexes), denobulans have no concern for marital fidelity and it is mentioned more in the books which indicate that group marriage becomes legal on earth. Mollari in Babylon 5 had several wives but he loved non of them and is in love with his mistress, they were arranged marriages. I saw a poly relationship briefly on futurama. I may have just realised how geeky I am.

There are also lots of references to non monogamy in lots of ancient cultures and myths from the Greeks, romans, norse , egyptians, celts and many more.