Hey everyone it’s bi visibility day

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So it’s bisexuality visibility day, bisexual pride day etc.

I am bi-sexual I think pretty much everyone I know is aware of this. I am lucky that I am comfortable telling the world this. I wasn’t always so comfortable.

I have been told I am confused (oh yes that still happens) and I will make up my mind one day. I have been told that I am clearly straight as I am married. I have been told I am not welcome in gay venues because I was with a guy.

But today isn’t just about me (shocking) it’s about making all bisexuals visible to other communities. It’s about celebrating our past, the present and our future. It’s about recognition and making things better.

So a little history. Hopefully all of this is accurate (I can’t promise anything).

This day was just observed in 1999 as a response to prejudice in the straight and gay communities. It started in the states but is now celebrated in Canada, Australia, Japan, Germany, New Zealand, Sweden and the United Kingdom. The day aims to provide a platform to the bisexual community and their supporters and to bring global attention to the social, economic and cultural prejudices and challenges faced by bisexual people. Events held over the years include discussions, conferences and workshops. LGBT organisations have held public education programmes.

Present we are more visible than before but still suffer from biphobia on a large scale. Biphobic ideas include

Denial
A lot of people say bisexuality doesn’t really exist that you are either straight or gay and anything else is just confusion, being in the closet, being purposely awkward etc.

Promiscuity
The claim that bisexuals are just after as much as they can get and will do anything with anyone without discrimination. They are incapable if just being with one person and being faithful. They are less careful and more likely to not use protection.

Hopefully in the future bisexuality will not be seen with such negative stereotypes.

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The ethical slut exercise 2, Why sluthood? Why not? (List with help from Tink)

Reasons why people may be sluts

*sex is fun π
*sex is good for your health π
*I like kissing π
*I do not love monogamously π
*I like persons π
*I like making sexual connections with people π
*it feels free π
*I am in control of who touches my body π
*extra cuddles π
*sex is proven to be good for your skin
*sex is great exercise π
*sex helps with depression
*I get different things sexually from different people π
*I like cock and cunt π
*I don’t like feeling tied down, unless well I am actually tied down π
*I like showing off my butt π
*I get to know things about people I wouldn’t otherwise π
*seeing lots of beautiful people naked π
*intimacy feels nice π
*it makes me happy π
*I make others happy and feel good π
*orgasms πππππππππππ
*entertainment
*I like being playful π
*learning more about my sexual desires π
*extra love π
*closeness π
*being touched is fun π
*flirting is fun π
*I believe monogamy isn’t the norm for primates π
*I was taught to share
*I don’t need control over my partner π
*I like variety π
*for spiritual advancement
*to challenge society
*because I have a strong sexual appetite π
*more caring supportive people in your life π
*group sex rocks π
*feels natural π
*I believe in love π
*pheromones
*being sex positive π
*licking people
*it pisses prudes off ¥
*practice makes perfect
*stress relief
*try new things π
*curiosity π
*revenge ¥
*boost self esteem ¥
*because boobs ππππππ
*power ¥
*empowerment π
*affection π
*peer pressure ¥
*increase immune system
*acceptance ¥
*exciting π
*rebellion ¥
*improve sexual technique π
*daddy issues ¥
*male approval ¥
*cash gains ¥
*sexual addiction ¥
*people smell nice π

I will mark ones I think describe the type of slut I don’t want to be with ¥
Ones I think are good reasons with π

Getting to know me

Facts about me that may or may not be of interest to people who read my blog but may help it make more sense when I write from now on.

1. I am Belisana, I am a genderqueer, pan sexual, pagan, mother, feminist, polyamorous, bipolar, kinky, switchy, cat, alternative, photographer, model…….
2. I have one child, a boy of 10 who will be called monkey from this point on
3. I am married to a wonderful man, have been for 8 years and together for a couple more than that, now known as H
4. I have a lovely boyfriend of just 2 1/2 months, now known as bf
5. I have a relationship forming with a wonderful woman but I am not sure where it is going, now known as bob
6. I write because I like to and I don’t mind if no one or everyone reads it
7. I am active on the local kink scene
8. I have a beautiful chosen sister, now known as tink.
9. I love my cat ivy more than I apparently should
10. I love my friends and have lots of them
11. I am having extensive medical treatment, no I don’t want to talk about it
12. I love to party
13. I live very much for the moment
14. I would love to change the world
15. I can think of nothing worse than being normal

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16. This is my seal of approval so don’t worry I don’t need anyone else’s

“Not in a gay way”

How do other people feel about this phrase?

I saw a conversation on the Internets today that has royally pissed me off.

Person 1: awesomely funny joke
Person 2: dude you are so funny I love you
Person 1: cheers mate
Person 2: not in a gay way

Was this last line necessary? Was it not clear how person 2 felt about person 1? Without the phrase not in a gay way would person 1 have thought person 2 was professing their undying love? Would they have thought it was a sexual proposition or a marriage proposal? Personally I would have thought it was just a friendly expression of affection.

When I tell my sister I love her I don’t feel the need to point out its not in an incest way. I just assume she knows, I assume she infers it from the nature of our conversation and relationship.

Is it completely unacceptable for two people of the same gender to say they love each other?

Share your opinions people…..

Why I am poly

I have always been poly. It comes naturally to me. I believe whole heartedly in love, it is a beautiful wonderful thing. I believe it lasts forever, there is no one I have ever told I loved who I don’t still love. I know my feelings for one person do not change my feelings for someone else. My love is not limited. I feel intimacy adds quality to my life and I do not want to limit the ways in which I can be intimate with people.

I tried monogamy briefly, it made me feel very restricted. My usual ways of showing affection over step the boundaries of most monogamous relationships. I feel like I am having to change who I am to fit someone else’s standards.

I am a very sexual person with a variety of wants and needs, which are much better fulfilled by multiple people.