The ethical slut exercise 2, Why sluthood? Why not? (List with help from Tink)

Reasons why people may be sluts

*sex is fun π
*sex is good for your health π
*I like kissing π
*I do not love monogamously π
*I like persons π
*I like making sexual connections with people π
*it feels free π
*I am in control of who touches my body π
*extra cuddles π
*sex is proven to be good for your skin
*sex is great exercise π
*sex helps with depression
*I get different things sexually from different people π
*I like cock and cunt π
*I don’t like feeling tied down, unless well I am actually tied down π
*I like showing off my butt π
*I get to know things about people I wouldn’t otherwise π
*seeing lots of beautiful people naked π
*intimacy feels nice π
*it makes me happy π
*I make others happy and feel good π
*orgasms πππππππππππ
*I like being playful π
*learning more about my sexual desires π
*extra love π
*closeness π
*being touched is fun π
*flirting is fun π
*I believe monogamy isn’t the norm for primates π
*I was taught to share
*I don’t need control over my partner π
*I like variety π
*for spiritual advancement
*to challenge society
*because I have a strong sexual appetite π
*more caring supportive people in your life π
*group sex rocks π
*feels natural π
*I believe in love π
*being sex positive π
*licking people
*it pisses prudes off ¥
*practice makes perfect
*stress relief
*try new things π
*curiosity π
*revenge ¥
*boost self esteem ¥
*because boobs ππππππ
*power ¥
*empowerment π
*affection π
*peer pressure ¥
*increase immune system
*acceptance ¥
*exciting π
*rebellion ¥
*improve sexual technique π
*daddy issues ¥
*male approval ¥
*cash gains ¥
*sexual addiction ¥
*people smell nice π

I will mark ones I think describe the type of slut I don’t want to be with ¥
Ones I think are good reasons with π


Telling our child we are poly

Poly question number two
Does little one know you are poly? How did you tell him?

My son does indeed know that we are poly. He has only known for about 6 months this isn’t because we were hiding it from him it is because we have never really felt the need to explain things to him, we never said we were monogamous so there were no lies we just hadn’t discussed our relationship status with him. He turned 10 this year and we decided he was old enough to understand things and didn’t want him finding out in anyway other than us telling him. Perfectly timed with us discussing this he saw something on the television that mentioned poly and mono relationships and asked my mum about what it meant, she gave him a brief description. This gave us a perfect platform to start the conversation.

So we sat him down to talk to him about it. Not in any formal way just in the living room in the way we talk about pretty much everything. He has an awareness of poly relationships as there have been other poly people in our lives he just didn’t know what it was called. We discussed the difference between polyamory and monogamy and told him that me and his dad were amongst those involved in a poly relationship, that we see other people as well as each other. He didn’t bat an eyelid just said ok and carried on talking about the TV programme.

He has since met one of my partners and although I haven’t introduced him in that capacity I am pretty sure he is aware of a different connection between my partner and me, and me and other friends because he is very perceptive. I will tell him about the exact definition of this particular relationship when I am sure of where it is going as long as he knows whatever I am doing is with his dad’s knowledge I am not really worried.

I told him partly because I want him to be honest with us and if we expect that then we need to show honesty to him. I have not given him details I wouldn’t give a 10 year old about a monogamous relationship though as I still believe their is such a thing as over sharing. He knows he can ask us if he wants to know more though.

The difference between polyamory, swinging and an open relationship.

Well I posted on my Facebook for people to ask me questions about Polyamory  and the first one I got was is it just sleeping around?
I can only state my understanding of it and how I feel this is in no way an everyone thinks the same thing.

For me polyamory is loving more than one person, it is forming relationships with strong connections and building on them just as you would in a monogamous relationship but you can do it with more than one person at a time.

An open relationship on the other hand can be just about sex, it can be having purely sexual relations with multiple people but not forming love connections.

Swinging is usually just about recreational sex, often both members of a couple going out to meet up with others to have sex. Sometimes swingers have long lasting relationships with a third person or a couple who they swing with, sometimes they have sex with a different individual or couple every time and everything in between.

Some relationships fall into more than one of these categories, some fall somewhere in between.

Now I personally am poly I occasionally have casual sex and am allowed to within my relationship dynamics. I mainly choose to do sexual play with people I know well though, casual sex doesn’t make me particularly happy unless it’s with a good friend. So I fall between poly and open. I have also been to swingers clubs but only for specialist events so I wouldn’t count myself as a swinger.

So the short answer is for some it’s probably just about sex but not for me.