So today someone suggested that my recent break up didn’t hurt me because I have other partners. This is a ridiculous statement.
Does having more than one friend make it hurt less when you lose one? Does having more than one pet make it hurt less if you lose one? What about siblings, parents etc? Why just because I am intimate with someone does that suddenly change?
You wouldn’t say to someone oh it’s ok you have another one in any other type of relationship please don’t do it to me. I may do a good job of hiding it but I am hurting. I don’t need your opinion on my relationships at the best of times even less so right now.
Having more than one partner does mean I have someone to cry to when it hurts, someone to give me a hug and comfort me but so does having a best friend. They help in a similar way. It’s distracting and helps me think things through but it doesn’t magically make it not hurt. I have still lost a huge part of my life. I am still just as upset as I would be had they been my only partner. Break ups suck even when you know it’s the right thing to do and being poly doesn’t change that it just means I am lucky to have an amazing support network.
I saw a conversation on the Internets today that has royally pissed me off.
Person 1: awesomely funny joke
Person 2: dude you are so funny I love you
Person 1: cheers mate
Person 2: not in a gay way
Was this last line necessary? Was it not clear how person 2 felt about person 1? Without the phrase not in a gay way would person 1 have thought person 2 was professing their undying love? Would they have thought it was a sexual proposition or a marriage proposal? Personally I would have thought it was just a friendly expression of affection.
When I tell my sister I love her I don’t feel the need to point out its not in an incest way. I just assume she knows, I assume she infers it from the nature of our conversation and relationship.
Is it completely unacceptable for two people of the same gender to say they love each other?