Apparently I am going completely against the feminist agenda because people saw my nipples yesterday

Yesterday on tumblr I posted pics joining in with topless Tuesday. I posted 2 pics of me and shared one of my husband. None were sexualised pics. One of mine showed nipples and one didn’t. I like being naked. I am happy naked. I don’t see why it’s ok for men to be topless but frowned upon for women. I don’t see how me having boobs is anti feminist.

I am a feminist and I love my breasts I am in no way ashamed of them and don’t see why I should keep them hidden because some people over sexualise them. Get over yourselves I can show any part of myself in any way I want.


I need feminism because

I get told ladies don’t need piercings to make them pretty.

I get told my behaviour is unladylike on a regular basis.

I get told I should be home looking after my husband more.

I was automatically given dolls as I child when I wanted boglins. (I eventually got them).

Women still make less than men on average.

I get looked down on by male photographers mainly because I am female.

I am fed up of having my bum pinched by strangers.

I was never taken as seriously as the males involved in my last business venture.

There is vat on tampons etc.

People are shocked I can change a tyre.

My mum’s religion says I should serve my husband.

My dad stopped being able to use a cooker when he moved in with my mum.

I don’t dress for other people.

I don’t want to be judged based on my gender as it does not define me.

I am regularly slut shamed for having male friends.

I have been sexually assaulted and what I was wearing was commented on by a police man.

I like being able to vote.

Telling guys I am married is more likely to get them to leave me alone than telling them I am not interested.

Cat calls are not a compliment.

Rape culture.

Too many people think the length of my skirt says something about my morals.

Things are not equal.

And a shit load more reasons.

Boobs on Facebook

So if you post your boobs on Facebook you get reported. This is because it’s against their terms and conditions. They do check if your picture violates these terms. You can moan and complain about it all you want buy at the end of the day you are using a free website aimed at people 13+ if I remember rightly not an adult site. So pretty much get over it you can showcase your tits elsewhere.

Things I have heard on this topic today.

We should be able to see who has reported our pics I completely disagree with this if reporting wasn’t anonymous then bullying, hateful and completely inappropriate post wouldn’t get removed because people didn’t want trouble.

But men can show their chests, this I think is a completely valid argument but if you truly believe we should all be allowed to show our bodies equally then join an anti misogyny group and do something about it.

But it’s my Facebook, well no its a profile of you on someone else’s site and you have to stick to their terms.

So yet again I think my point boils down to stop moaning and fight misogyny.

Yes all men

The last couple of days I have seen a lot of hash tags for #notallmen and #yesallwomen over some pretty serious issues. It got me thinking and today I thought #yesallmen are negatively affected by patriarchy. This is why for me feminism stands up for them too.

So yes all men:-

Have problems because the patriarchal ideal male should should be strong, dominant and invulnerable meaning they
-End up in dangerous situations because showing fear would be weak
-Deal with mental illness without help because emotional weakness is un manly
-Are more likely to commit suicide possibly due to this lack of help
-Seek medical help less often, so regularly make conditions worse
-Get pressured into doing risky things to prove their toughness
-Have violence aimed at them ignored
-Have less social services aimed at them and struggle to find the help they need in violent situations
-Feel they must be sole provider for their family even if they are sick or injured
-Feel they need to prove themselves with violence
-Are more likely to be seriously physically attacked but it isn’t portrayed that way in the media
-Can end up very lonely as they are not taught to relate to others
-Struggle if they do not have a dominant personality
-Do not feel they can form close friendships with females or non binary gendered people meaning they miss out on alot of awesome people they could have in their lives.
-Feel unloved by fathers because showing emotional attachments is a sign of weakness
-Don’t form as close connections to their children as the mothers do due to several patriarchal constraints
-Suffer from strained relationships due to inability to portray emotions
-Struggle to find the depth of friendship that women have
-Are not taught how to emotionally manage trauma in their lives so have less coping mechanisms
-Are considered lesser men if they don’t fit these ideals
-Are rejected by society if they don’t fit these ideals leading to insecurity, self hate, anxiety and stress which they feel they can not communicate to anyone as it will lessen their worth further
-Can’t take part in some hobbies without being seem as less than this ideal
-Feel very pressured to dress appropriately
-Don’t receive gifts in the same way that women do, are rarely bought flowers even though they may appreciate them
-Are perceived in a way that makes women less trusting of them
-Experience more financial stress within their family
-Are not getting as much time to connect with their children
-Are continually stero typed in degrading ways
-Miss out on important milestones in their children’s lives
-Are less welcome at children’s playgrounds
-Are found intimidating by women they don’t know making it more difficult to do simple things like ask for directions
-Are expected to make sure females get home safely even if this means taking a more dangerous route home themselves

These are just some of the negative effects of patriarchy on men so yes all men whether you like it or not and why I am can promise all the men in my life I am a feminist because I love them and they deserve better too.

Getting to know me

Facts about me that may or may not be of interest to people who read my blog but may help it make more sense when I write from now on.

1. I am Belisana, I am a genderqueer, pan sexual, pagan, mother, feminist, polyamorous, bipolar, kinky, switchy, cat, alternative, photographer, model…….
2. I have one child, a boy of 10 who will be called monkey from this point on
3. I am married to a wonderful man, have been for 8 years and together for a couple more than that, now known as H
4. I have a lovely boyfriend of just 2 1/2 months, now known as bf
5. I have a relationship forming with a wonderful woman but I am not sure where it is going, now known as bob
6. I write because I like to and I don’t mind if no one or everyone reads it
7. I am active on the local kink scene
8. I have a beautiful chosen sister, now known as tink.
9. I love my cat ivy more than I apparently should
10. I love my friends and have lots of them
11. I am having extensive medical treatment, no I don’t want to talk about it
12. I love to party
13. I live very much for the moment
14. I would love to change the world
15. I can think of nothing worse than being normal


16. This is my seal of approval so don’t worry I don’t need anyone else’s