Life changing

On the 12 of February. My life changed. I made a new plan. It didn’t start out as what I thought would be a good day. I wanted to hide from my problems. I had been let down by people I had held quite highly, people I thought were good people it turned out were more interested in money than morals. Its one of those facts of life that I hate but most of the world are that way. I was disappointed, downtrodden and I decided to give up, my fight was gone. I lost friends because I spoke up for what I believed in. I was even being threatened for it.

Then the better people in my life intervened. I was reminded by strangers exactly why I was standing up and being heard. People encouraging me to carry on as I was. There are things in this world that need changing and they aren’t going to be fixed by giving up. I want a world that I am proud to bring my son up in.

I refuse to be part of the problem. We all need to do a little bit to make the world better. So for my part I am protesting the things I really don’t agree with. I am standing for the rights of those who don’t have them. I have officially become carer for my nana to try and help make her life easier and brighter. I have had emma move in to my home disrupting everything but I wouldn’t change that. I am writing for a mental health organisation. I have plans to volunteer for feeding the homeless with Manchester angels (look them up they are ace). I am going to be running a therapy session for people who are abuse victims.

On top of this I realised how much I still had to fix about myself. I am still the product of what the world has done to me. I refuse to be that way. I won’t let the world grind me down to being all the things I hate. I want to leave the world having been the cause of more smiles than sadness and I guess that has to start with me too. I have a plan and the path ahead looks bright.

The journey so far hasn’t been easy but it has been full of smiles so I getting somewhere at least.

Advertisements

Getting to know me

Facts about me that may or may not be of interest to people who read my blog but may help it make more sense when I write from now on.

1. I am Belisana, I am a genderqueer, pan sexual, pagan, mother, feminist, polyamorous, bipolar, kinky, switchy, cat, alternative, photographer, model…….
2. I have one child, a boy of 10 who will be called monkey from this point on
3. I am married to a wonderful man, have been for 8 years and together for a couple more than that, now known as H
4. I have a lovely boyfriend of just 2 1/2 months, now known as bf
5. I have a relationship forming with a wonderful woman but I am not sure where it is going, now known as bob
6. I write because I like to and I don’t mind if no one or everyone reads it
7. I am active on the local kink scene
8. I have a beautiful chosen sister, now known as tink.
9. I love my cat ivy more than I apparently should
10. I love my friends and have lots of them
11. I am having extensive medical treatment, no I don’t want to talk about it
12. I love to party
13. I live very much for the moment
14. I would love to change the world
15. I can think of nothing worse than being normal

image

16. This is my seal of approval so don’t worry I don’t need anyone else’s